nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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