Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
