Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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