the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.