Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
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He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
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I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.