glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
its not stalking. its research.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.