You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.