It's Friday. Sex?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?