Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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