And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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