They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
