PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
