So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
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Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
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He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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