you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
