She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
