If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
