new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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