I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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