The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
