Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
