A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
