Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
