I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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