she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
