I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize