Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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