$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
