I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
