I cannot find my penis.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize