how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
