i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
