My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
