Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
