And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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