Whod you bang
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
