call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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