I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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