I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
