i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Quick, to the slutcave!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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