You can't motorboat a personality
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
