you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
