it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
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It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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