I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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