It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
