can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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