she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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