Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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