Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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