why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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