Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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