You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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