he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
