So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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