No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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