Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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