I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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