You just made me feel so damn special
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
