dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
