I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
