Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
ttyl tear gas
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
