Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
