rhymes with "ouble enetration"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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