I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
