my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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