If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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