fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
